(from an unknown source:)
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds
himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not
sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you
enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every
home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95.
I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case;
I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the
St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both
places briefly, if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with
clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around,
playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was
shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If
this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!"
"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting
about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as
enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered
"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St.
"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late
billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there,
he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames
in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and
"this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited
two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened
to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the
scantily-clad women playing in the water?!??? "
"That was a demo," replied St. Peter.